Chemo sucks
My mom and I watched “Bucket List” last night. I have tried to fill my bucket everyday. Leap from an airplane 25,000 feet above the earth, SCUBA dive 130 feet under the water, riding motorcycles, shooting guns and blowing things up. These are things I did before I was twenty five. I get to kiss the most beautiful woman in the world daily. I still have things I would like to do but, I have been blessed to cram a whole lot of living into my life so far. My pop told me when I turned twenty-five “I did not think you would survive to this age.” Cancer is not how I want to die…I do not want to slip quietly to sleep.
The joke is: I want to die like my grandpa, sweetly sleeping and not like all his passengers.
I want to slide into the grave full throttle throwing rooster tails of dirt laughing maniacally “Who-ya, what a ride!”
I'm glad that my chemo does not feel as bad as the scenes in the movie. My truth is beginning to get real. I am not sure if it is the effects of the IV four days later or the effects ten hours after 1000 mg of Lapatinib, or the cumulative effects of all of the above. Interfering with the cells ability to replicate and repair is the point of these drugs. Limpoolio is being directly targeted. I feel kind of like I went on a long hard road march or two days after a marathon. This is the first time I have felt that I could not ride my motorcycle safely. Not really the riding part…just the putting your feet down and holding the bike up part…which is important.
We are sustained by prayer. Thank God for today. I am glad to be on the journey because that means I am closer to the finish line.
http://tinyurl.com/d289fl
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