Psychology, therapy and resilience

 Asking for help is a sign of strength. Despite the trappings of science very little social sciences is based on solid irrefutable data. Humans are tremendously resilient and vary in their coping mechanisms. For examples “stages of grief” and “levels of learning” are merely cognitive concepts that help us understand processes. This is unlike the direct measurement of pH levels and how it affects nutrient absorption.

The standards of “mental health” are a human construct. Not that long ago homosexuality was classified as a mental illness by the psychological community. That is not to say that real behavioral issues can be understood by the application of the scientific method. Chemical imbalances, brain tissue damage are areas we can positively diagnose and treat.

Happiness and other more nebulous conditions are harder to define and thus, easier to diagnose at the will of the provider. The medical industry including the mental health divisions tend to treat symptoms rather than cure root causes. If one becomes a repeat paying customer the incentive to “fix” the problem is not the highest priority.

Be aware that the person providing the treatment and/or advice is as human as you. Often their education and training is not as extensive as you imagine. There is real value in seeking treatment and advise. Objective, wise and compassionate council is truly valuable. Use caution since not that long ago electroshock therapy and lobotomies were considered leading edge treatment.

Taking control of your life

The illusion of control is important to humans. We love to pretend we are in charge of how our lives turn out. The facts don't matter. Preparation, hard work and talent do tend to sway the odds but fate, luck, and timing can take it all away or grant us magnificent opulence.

The one thing we can control is how we react. It is a constant battle that takes discipline. The space between our ears is the essence of our experience. Instead of proclaiming that “I am angry” turn it into a verb, “I am angering.” This subtle shift makes me take responsibility for the emotion rather than imagining that I am a leaf caught in a tide. Society in general shuns responsibility and glorifies the emotion itself. “Falling in love” like it is a mud puddle or “I am depressed” like it is a hole.

The challenge is to reflect on our internal dialogue, determine the source, and either strike at the root, or accept the mental and emotional state. “I am angering because I am hungry, tired, stressed or lonely. Then the choice becomes accept the anger and use it, or eat, and perhaps quell the emotion. Some of the deeper sources of emotional turmoil require profound changes. Poor diet and sleep habits are challenges that can be addressed with considerable effort. A lack of purpose is much more formidable. Nietzsche is one option. Since he went insane and committed suicide so I do not choose his philosophy.

Direct actions and habits to improve the quality of life include focusing on your diet: mental, physical and spiritual. “You are what you eat” is an axiom that applies. Slight changes add up. I try to drink water before my morning coffee. I love to eat! I often eat when I am bored, putting healthier choices in my way makes it more likely that I will eat fruits instead of chips. The stuff you put in your brain matters. Read and watch things that help feed your mind. Try to learn new stuff. Devoting 15 minutes a day to a new skill has helped me acquire many circus tricks. Silence is good for you. My mother meditates regularly. I tend to use monotonous tasks as an outlet to silence my big brain and allow me to engage in the flow of the universe. Running, walking, driving, motorcycle riding, surfing, weeding, mowing are examples of “boring” tasks that require various layers of concentration that can open the Zen of the moment. Subtle changes in the environment have been revolutionary in altering my mood. Opening the window shades, cleaning up clutter, a photo, and music can all shift the background influences in the positive direction.