Flying is a perishable skill. The FAA has rules that keep you legally current. It is a very low bar to leap. Every two years you are required to fly with an instructor and get a flight review. The minimum flight review is one hour of ground instruction and one hour of flight instruction. The contents of the training are not very well defined. The instructor must cover applicable parts of federal aviation regulations during the ground portion but the flight portion is completely at the discretion of the instructor. With freedom comes responsibility and humans come in all flavors. I have seen a business card advertising the “cheapest BFR around.” I learned in the Air Force that you should not be cheap with your training or your parachute.
Additional currency requirements include three takeoffs and landings within 90 days in order to carry passengers. The night and tail wheel requirements are to a “full stop.” Loss of directional control on rollout is a common error for non-proficient tail wheel pilots.
Flying in the clouds adds another level of risk and the currency requirements reflect it. To remain legally current one must perform six approaches including intercepting tracking and holding within six months in actual or simulated conditions. After that you have an additional six months to get a safety pilot and knockout your six approaches. If you don't get current within the additional six months you need to get an instrument proficiency check with an authorized instructor or FAA designated examiner. The minimum tasks are spelled out in the practical test standards.
Since I could not act as pilot in command until I had a medical it didn't matter that I was not legally current for IFR. Last week George and I knocked out my IPC so now I am legal. Fortunately, I have been spending a lot of time in the simulator practicing so it was relatively painless.
Teaching instruments is fun. It is not the visceral giggling fun that aerobatics brings but more of an intense mental game fun. Flying in the clouds has additional hazards. Mitigating those risks can make IFR flight a reasonable undertaking. There is nothing particularly hard about instrument flying; there are however, two or three hundred really easy things that will kill you if you get them wrong.
Don’t fly in crazy weather. Thunderstorms, ice, and crazy winds are not impressed with your ratings. Legal but stupid is a condition that we sometimes try to exercise; the weather conditions meet the legal minimums but exceed the capabilities of the pilot and/or the aircraft. Knowing when to continue a flight as planned, execute the alternate plan or cancel carries consequences.
Loss of control is another one of the risks. There are many reasons for the aircrew to lose control of the aircraft one of them is related to our vestibular system. We have awesomely designed dual sensors arranged to give information on pitch, roll and yaw. The semicircular canals of the inner ear are arranged at 90 degree angles to each other. Fluid movement inside provides a piece of orientation information. Unfortunately our sense of balance betrays us without reference to the horizon. When we start a turn the fluid moves once in response to a change in momentum. After a few seconds the fluid settles indicating that the turn has stopped. A conflict between what our eyes and body are telling us can lead to a condition know as spatial disorientation. It is a terrible feeling not knowing which way is up or down and leads to disaster fairly quickly. The solution is to scan all of your instruments, interpret them properly and THEN apply control inputs.
Controlled flight into terrain is another risk. This is a term that means a perfectly good aircraft is flown into the ground or an obstacle. Continually answering four questions helps maintain positional awareness. Where am I? Where am I going? How am I getting there? What are the next two things?
Where am I? I am alive and getting back to being healthy. Where am I going? That is a question I have been pondering lately. What should I do with my second chance? I am getting there with the grace of God and the help of my friends and family but what are the next two things? Love y’all. Fly safe.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Good news from the doctor
Praise God! I went to the doctor and got a CT scan, an X-ray and they stuck a camera up my nose (nasal endoscopy). All showed no evidence of disease.
I have been working on my mental attitude. The line of thinking goes “If the scan is clean that's awesome; if they find evidence of disease that means we caught it early and we can get rid of it, and that's awesome.” But I didn't completely buy into that line of reasoning. I went to the appointment with a sense of dread and hope.
We talked about the after effects of the treatment: fatigue, pain, and debilitated function of the damaged tissues. Most of it will slowly improve but individual variation makes a timeline or projected end state hard to predict. I found out I can get acupuncture through the VA. My current insurance does not cover chiropractors, acupuncture, and other non traditional methods. It will be at the speed of government since the first appointment to get a referral is the last week in July. Next trip to the UNC doctors will be in 3 months or so. Thank God for the good news! Thank y’all for all your prayers and support.
I am participating in the American Cancer Society relay for life fundraiser
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ronneymoss
I have been working on my mental attitude. The line of thinking goes “If the scan is clean that's awesome; if they find evidence of disease that means we caught it early and we can get rid of it, and that's awesome.” But I didn't completely buy into that line of reasoning. I went to the appointment with a sense of dread and hope.
We talked about the after effects of the treatment: fatigue, pain, and debilitated function of the damaged tissues. Most of it will slowly improve but individual variation makes a timeline or projected end state hard to predict. I found out I can get acupuncture through the VA. My current insurance does not cover chiropractors, acupuncture, and other non traditional methods. It will be at the speed of government since the first appointment to get a referral is the last week in July. Next trip to the UNC doctors will be in 3 months or so. Thank God for the good news! Thank y’all for all your prayers and support.
I am participating in the American Cancer Society relay for life fundraiser
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ronneymoss
Friday, April 18, 2014
Spin Endorsement
The endorsement reads “I certify that Pat Pilot has received the required training of section 61.183(i). I have determined that they are competent in instructional skills for training stall awareness, spin entry, spins, and spin recovery techniques.”
This endorsement is required to become a flight instructor. About a third of all fatal general aviation accidents are stall/spin related. Too many commercial and military aviation accidents also have this root cause. Most, if not all of these accidents are rooted in a deficit in training. The first few hours in an airplane set the basics for the rest of your flying career. The four fundamental flight maneuvers of straight and level, turns, climbs, and descents set the foundations for all subsequent training. Understanding the effects of manipulating the flight controls is the key to being able to perform these maneuvers.
Wolfgang Langewiesche wrote ‘Stick and Rudder’ many years ago but it still speaks to the core of the issues. One of my students explaining how the controls work to grade school students said “Yes, No, Maybe.” The elevator pitches your head for “yes.” The rudder yaws your head for “no.” The ailerons roll your shoulders for “maybe.” This keeps the concepts of up and down out of the conversation. Airplanes aint natural. Our instincts and “common sense” understandings will kill us.
You have never heard of, or seen a monkey fly an airplane. The joke at UPT is that “we can teach a monkey to fly, but we don’t have the time so we got you.” But you know the air force would if it could. The monkeys would be cheaper and certainly whine less than pilots. You can train monkeys to do almost anything. The reason it is doomed to failure is that airplanes act a somewhat inconsistent manner depending on where in the flight regime one operates.
When lots of air flowing is over the wing pulling back creates more lift and we go up. Turning the yoke to the right lifts the wing and we start turning right. But wait, the nose pulls left if we don’t give a touch of right rudder. Adding throttle increases the noise from the engine and things happen. If we don’t make any other control inputs we will climb, and go left. We can make inputs and stay at the same altitude and go faster.
When not much air is flowing over the wing pulling back causes the nose to drop sharply down. Trying to lift the wings with the yoke does not seem to do much but make the nose drop more. Adding throttle causes things to get worse and all of a sudden the world is spinning. PULL HARDER…ADD POWER…witnesses stated that the aircraft impacted terrain in a nose low attitude. Impact forces exceeded tolerances for human survival.
What is a spin? A spin is an aggravated stall with autorotation. How do you do that? Just stall and add some yaw (rudder). What the heck is a stall? A stall is when the airflow separates from the wing and stops producing lift. What causes a stall? Excessive angle of attack causes a stall. How do you recover from a stall? Reduce the angle of attack. This dooms the monkey. When primates are scared they hang on tight, pulling back maybe even into the fetal position.
I had a student once who said “I want to be a professional pilot.”
“Yeah, lots of people do.” I responded.
“No, I mean really.” He said. He had his private certificate and wanted to progress through instrument, commercial, and instructor as rapidly as he could. That was March 2006, by December he had achieved his goals. For the sake of the story he was a shrimp salesman. (Really he sold food to restaurants) This guy was serious, training several times a week. It pushed me to perform at my best. The spin endorsement was a challenge to me. I realized I needed more training to provide him “competence in instructional skills in training stall awareness, spin entry, spins, and spin recovery techniques.”
I sought out the best in the business to teach me. Mr. William “Bill” Kershner was known as the spin doctor. I signed up for the basic aerobatic course and begin a journey that will last as long as I can fly. Mr. Kershner began flying in 1945 was a Naval aviator and test pilot. He wrote many very useable books combining country-boy comics and PhD level mathematics in a humorous style that promotes learning. He was fighting cancer at the time and provided the ground instruction while his most excellent protégé translated the academics into practice. Catherine continues to build upon the legacy. http://www.aceaerobaticschool.com/
With these new insights I trained Steve and others. The joy of aerobatic flight continues to motivate me to understand and practice as much as possible. A solid understanding and respect for stalls and spins is essential for all pilots but especially instructors.
A common misunderstanding is the role of airspeed. “Speed is life” is a saying that has some validity. If you keep airflow over the wing it flies. The airspeed indicator gives information on the difference between ram air pressure at the pitot tube and the static port. Indicated airspeed is what you read off the instrument, calibrated airspeed is indicated airspeed corrected for instrument and position error. The difference can be large and is not calculated for uncoordinated flight. Slips and skids describe the types of turns made without appropriate rudder inputs. Often pilots use slips on purpose and skid due to a lack of proficiency. Additionally the airspeed indicator lags a few fractions of a second behind what is occurring and gives little indication of the trend. What causes a stall? Excessive angle of attack causes a stall. The airspeed indicator gives us old data of questionable accuracy of an indirect measure of a byproduct of angle of attack.
Angle of attack is the angle between the relative wind and the chord line. When we load up the wing by pulling back on the elevator we increase the angle of attack. We need to do this when turning, because some of the lift that was formerly opposing gravity is now changing our direction. The term load factor is a ratio of the lift produced to the weight of the airplane generally measured in Gs. The stall speed increases at the square root of the load factor. In a 2G turn an increase of 40% means that if it “normally” stalls at 50 knots it now stalls at 70. This why it is good advice to keep bank angles mellow especially when close to the ground, like in the pattern.
The results of these misunderstandings can lead to risky mistakes. A pilot that thinks “I just go real fast and then I won’t stall” often ends up losing directional control on landing and or running off the end of the runway. Most light aircraft do not have spoilers, thrust reversers, or 16 wheels with an advanced anti-skid system designed to stop the airplane. The smaller aircraft are designed to fly at much lower speeds and stall at much lower speeds. The ideal landing strategy is to stall the wing either just prior to landing or shortly after touchdown thus making the wings quit producing lift. This takes weight off the wings and places it on the wheels. The effect of additional speed on landing distance can be dramatic. (hope the runway is long enough) The airplane still wants to fly and any errors in crosswind technique bump up the hazardous of directional control, and off you go into a ditch. (hope the runway is wide enough)
The points I am trying to make is that pilots should be taught to understand, respect and control the angle of attack. Stalls are predictable controllable events. Flying the aircraft with the concept that pitch and power equal performance leads to confidence rather than chasing the airspeed indicator. If the airplane is flown at the recommended approach speed it is much easier to control. That is a lot of background information that should be passed on to pilots. Learning how to initiate and recover from intentional spins is loads of fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2HbMEmJQgo
We start with a thorough preflight with additional emphasis on weight and balance. Some of the other details we look at include making sure there is no slack in the controls and that all loose items in the cockpit are secured. Next we make sure the weather is conducive and select a practice area that is both safe and legal. During the climb to altitude we review the pre-maneuver checklist.
Clear airspace: making sure there are no aircraft, birds or obstacles at, above and below our altitude.
Heading: picking a visual reference to help maintain orientation
Altitude: legal and safe
Performance: airplane configured properly
Safe place to land: in case of engine trouble
I generally start with some power on and power off stalls to relax the pilot. I used to demonstrate the first spin with a power on entry now I ask the pilot. The power-on entry is crisp and sure but more dramatic. The power-off entry is mushy and often deteriorates into a steep spiral but does not tend to make the pilot apprehensive. After a few incipient spin entries we progress to fully developed spins. The generic spin recovery is:
Power - to idle
Ailerons -neutral
Rudder -full opposite
Elevator - briskly forward
(Dive) -recover smoothly from
Power to idle because we are descending fast enough and it eliminates torque and other left turning tendencies. Ailerons neutral because of the effect of aileron deflection and wing camber (angle of attack). Rudder full deflected against the spin, this is how we eliminate the yaw. Elevator briskly forward to break the stall (reducing the angle of attack). This leaves the aircraft in a nose low attitude (dive) and we can rapidly build up airspeed if left unchecked. Vigorously recovering from the dive may lead to an accelerated stall. (Remember the load factor stuff?)
Spinning is a lot of fun. Recovering from the spin is an integral part of the fun. Aerobatics help hone the skills by controlling the entry and exit to specific headings and attitudes. I love being able to help train the next generation of trainers. The stall spin accident remains one of aviations biggest killers. The Colgan tragedy in 2009 resulted in sweeping changes in certification standards for passenger airline flight crew. The changes added a considerable number of hours and ratings for a co-pilot. Interestingly the accident crew would have been qualified under the new rules. In my opinion the idea was that the inexperienced regional crews just don’t know how to fly so let us make sure they have lots of hours before they can warm the right seat. Later that year an Air France aircrew maintained an aerodynamic stall from 38,000 feet. These tragedies might have been prevented if the pilot(s) had reduced the angle of attack. I am in no way judging the competency of the aircrew for I have no idea how I would react faced with the same conditions. I do however try to instill in my students a firm grasp on what causes a stall and how to recover.
Don’t let the monkey kill you.
Praise God, I have a medical!
This endorsement is required to become a flight instructor. About a third of all fatal general aviation accidents are stall/spin related. Too many commercial and military aviation accidents also have this root cause. Most, if not all of these accidents are rooted in a deficit in training. The first few hours in an airplane set the basics for the rest of your flying career. The four fundamental flight maneuvers of straight and level, turns, climbs, and descents set the foundations for all subsequent training. Understanding the effects of manipulating the flight controls is the key to being able to perform these maneuvers.
Wolfgang Langewiesche wrote ‘Stick and Rudder’ many years ago but it still speaks to the core of the issues. One of my students explaining how the controls work to grade school students said “Yes, No, Maybe.” The elevator pitches your head for “yes.” The rudder yaws your head for “no.” The ailerons roll your shoulders for “maybe.” This keeps the concepts of up and down out of the conversation. Airplanes aint natural. Our instincts and “common sense” understandings will kill us.
You have never heard of, or seen a monkey fly an airplane. The joke at UPT is that “we can teach a monkey to fly, but we don’t have the time so we got you.” But you know the air force would if it could. The monkeys would be cheaper and certainly whine less than pilots. You can train monkeys to do almost anything. The reason it is doomed to failure is that airplanes act a somewhat inconsistent manner depending on where in the flight regime one operates.
When lots of air flowing is over the wing pulling back creates more lift and we go up. Turning the yoke to the right lifts the wing and we start turning right. But wait, the nose pulls left if we don’t give a touch of right rudder. Adding throttle increases the noise from the engine and things happen. If we don’t make any other control inputs we will climb, and go left. We can make inputs and stay at the same altitude and go faster.
When not much air is flowing over the wing pulling back causes the nose to drop sharply down. Trying to lift the wings with the yoke does not seem to do much but make the nose drop more. Adding throttle causes things to get worse and all of a sudden the world is spinning. PULL HARDER…ADD POWER…witnesses stated that the aircraft impacted terrain in a nose low attitude. Impact forces exceeded tolerances for human survival.
What is a spin? A spin is an aggravated stall with autorotation. How do you do that? Just stall and add some yaw (rudder). What the heck is a stall? A stall is when the airflow separates from the wing and stops producing lift. What causes a stall? Excessive angle of attack causes a stall. How do you recover from a stall? Reduce the angle of attack. This dooms the monkey. When primates are scared they hang on tight, pulling back maybe even into the fetal position.
I had a student once who said “I want to be a professional pilot.”
“Yeah, lots of people do.” I responded.
“No, I mean really.” He said. He had his private certificate and wanted to progress through instrument, commercial, and instructor as rapidly as he could. That was March 2006, by December he had achieved his goals. For the sake of the story he was a shrimp salesman. (Really he sold food to restaurants) This guy was serious, training several times a week. It pushed me to perform at my best. The spin endorsement was a challenge to me. I realized I needed more training to provide him “competence in instructional skills in training stall awareness, spin entry, spins, and spin recovery techniques.”
I sought out the best in the business to teach me. Mr. William “Bill” Kershner was known as the spin doctor. I signed up for the basic aerobatic course and begin a journey that will last as long as I can fly. Mr. Kershner began flying in 1945 was a Naval aviator and test pilot. He wrote many very useable books combining country-boy comics and PhD level mathematics in a humorous style that promotes learning. He was fighting cancer at the time and provided the ground instruction while his most excellent protégé translated the academics into practice. Catherine continues to build upon the legacy. http://www.aceaerobaticschool.com/
With these new insights I trained Steve and others. The joy of aerobatic flight continues to motivate me to understand and practice as much as possible. A solid understanding and respect for stalls and spins is essential for all pilots but especially instructors.
A common misunderstanding is the role of airspeed. “Speed is life” is a saying that has some validity. If you keep airflow over the wing it flies. The airspeed indicator gives information on the difference between ram air pressure at the pitot tube and the static port. Indicated airspeed is what you read off the instrument, calibrated airspeed is indicated airspeed corrected for instrument and position error. The difference can be large and is not calculated for uncoordinated flight. Slips and skids describe the types of turns made without appropriate rudder inputs. Often pilots use slips on purpose and skid due to a lack of proficiency. Additionally the airspeed indicator lags a few fractions of a second behind what is occurring and gives little indication of the trend. What causes a stall? Excessive angle of attack causes a stall. The airspeed indicator gives us old data of questionable accuracy of an indirect measure of a byproduct of angle of attack.
Angle of attack is the angle between the relative wind and the chord line. When we load up the wing by pulling back on the elevator we increase the angle of attack. We need to do this when turning, because some of the lift that was formerly opposing gravity is now changing our direction. The term load factor is a ratio of the lift produced to the weight of the airplane generally measured in Gs. The stall speed increases at the square root of the load factor. In a 2G turn an increase of 40% means that if it “normally” stalls at 50 knots it now stalls at 70. This why it is good advice to keep bank angles mellow especially when close to the ground, like in the pattern.
The results of these misunderstandings can lead to risky mistakes. A pilot that thinks “I just go real fast and then I won’t stall” often ends up losing directional control on landing and or running off the end of the runway. Most light aircraft do not have spoilers, thrust reversers, or 16 wheels with an advanced anti-skid system designed to stop the airplane. The smaller aircraft are designed to fly at much lower speeds and stall at much lower speeds. The ideal landing strategy is to stall the wing either just prior to landing or shortly after touchdown thus making the wings quit producing lift. This takes weight off the wings and places it on the wheels. The effect of additional speed on landing distance can be dramatic. (hope the runway is long enough) The airplane still wants to fly and any errors in crosswind technique bump up the hazardous of directional control, and off you go into a ditch. (hope the runway is wide enough)
The points I am trying to make is that pilots should be taught to understand, respect and control the angle of attack. Stalls are predictable controllable events. Flying the aircraft with the concept that pitch and power equal performance leads to confidence rather than chasing the airspeed indicator. If the airplane is flown at the recommended approach speed it is much easier to control. That is a lot of background information that should be passed on to pilots. Learning how to initiate and recover from intentional spins is loads of fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2HbMEmJQgo
We start with a thorough preflight with additional emphasis on weight and balance. Some of the other details we look at include making sure there is no slack in the controls and that all loose items in the cockpit are secured. Next we make sure the weather is conducive and select a practice area that is both safe and legal. During the climb to altitude we review the pre-maneuver checklist.
Clear airspace: making sure there are no aircraft, birds or obstacles at, above and below our altitude.
Heading: picking a visual reference to help maintain orientation
Altitude: legal and safe
Performance: airplane configured properly
Safe place to land: in case of engine trouble
I generally start with some power on and power off stalls to relax the pilot. I used to demonstrate the first spin with a power on entry now I ask the pilot. The power-on entry is crisp and sure but more dramatic. The power-off entry is mushy and often deteriorates into a steep spiral but does not tend to make the pilot apprehensive. After a few incipient spin entries we progress to fully developed spins. The generic spin recovery is:
Power - to idle
Ailerons -neutral
Rudder -full opposite
Elevator - briskly forward
(Dive) -recover smoothly from
Power to idle because we are descending fast enough and it eliminates torque and other left turning tendencies. Ailerons neutral because of the effect of aileron deflection and wing camber (angle of attack). Rudder full deflected against the spin, this is how we eliminate the yaw. Elevator briskly forward to break the stall (reducing the angle of attack). This leaves the aircraft in a nose low attitude (dive) and we can rapidly build up airspeed if left unchecked. Vigorously recovering from the dive may lead to an accelerated stall. (Remember the load factor stuff?)
Spinning is a lot of fun. Recovering from the spin is an integral part of the fun. Aerobatics help hone the skills by controlling the entry and exit to specific headings and attitudes. I love being able to help train the next generation of trainers. The stall spin accident remains one of aviations biggest killers. The Colgan tragedy in 2009 resulted in sweeping changes in certification standards for passenger airline flight crew. The changes added a considerable number of hours and ratings for a co-pilot. Interestingly the accident crew would have been qualified under the new rules. In my opinion the idea was that the inexperienced regional crews just don’t know how to fly so let us make sure they have lots of hours before they can warm the right seat. Later that year an Air France aircrew maintained an aerodynamic stall from 38,000 feet. These tragedies might have been prevented if the pilot(s) had reduced the angle of attack. I am in no way judging the competency of the aircrew for I have no idea how I would react faced with the same conditions. I do however try to instill in my students a firm grasp on what causes a stall and how to recover.
Don’t let the monkey kill you.
Praise God, I have a medical!
Spring 2014
The trees are green and the flowers are blooming. The snow and ice is finally gone but in typical North Carolina fashion it was in the eighties on Sunday and may dip into the lower thirties by Wednesday. I have the second round of plants in the ground, I hope they survive. I tend to plant early and often. Sometimes I am lucky and I get an early crop and other times the gamble does not pay off.
My FAA medical is still not approved. The most recent update is that it is on the doctor’s desk which is better than the janitor’s desk. The route so far has been “we received it” to “a reviewer’s desk” to the “doctor’s desk.” I do not have a clear picture of where it goes from there or how long it takes. The reviewer to the doctor took three weeks. I am flying and teaching but it severely limits my potential client base.
Ben and I started basic obedience training last week. It will be interesting to see if he can become a therapy dog. He is a wonderful listener and has made my life better. I hope to be able to bring some of that love to others.
I continue to adapt to the new normal. The damage from the treatment has lingering effects. Pain and fatigue are the most prominent. I am somewhat paranoid over recurrence but then getting killed by someone texting and driving is probably a bigger hazard. My brothers continue to inspire me to quit whining and work hard at the rehabilitation exercises.
http://combatcontrolnet.blogspot.com/2014/03/jack-fannings-stem-cell-treatment.html
As Easter approaches I thank God for all my blessings. My apprehension of death is still palpable but my faith in the promise of salvation is stronger. Our lives on this planet are short and often feel meaningless. I choose to believe that our lives have consequences and not just the things we do for a human audience but even our thoughts when we are alone. That is because I do not feel like I am alone. I choose to believe I have an eternal soul created by a loving God that came to earth to rescue us. One of my great friends said “The Bible is just a story.” It is a wonderful love story that, if true, changes everything. “Now we are just arguing over imaginary friends.” quipped the critic. But my imaginary friend says I should love you like you are a child of God; do you really want to convince me that he does not exist? Jesus Christ saved my soul and changed my heart. Happy Easter and God Bless.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Spiders, snakes and flamethrowers
I love gardening. I live on a lake. The ditch on the side of my property is lined with rocks to expedite the flow of water. The weeds grow between the rocks and make the ditch a snake habitat. Running a weed eater is frustrating because the rocks slice the string. I am pretty sure the snakes are scared of the sound but water moccasins are not polite like rattlesnakes; they do not warn you. That is my excuse for buying a flamethrower.
It is one of my favorite tools. It kills weeds, spiders, snakes and other varmints and is fun to use. I have only caught a few trees, the neighbor’s fence and myself on fire. It reminds me of a time on Fort Leonard Wood with Gordy Tully…but that is a story for a different day.
It is one of my favorite tools. It kills weeds, spiders, snakes and other varmints and is fun to use. I have only caught a few trees, the neighbor’s fence and myself on fire. It reminds me of a time on Fort Leonard Wood with Gordy Tully…but that is a story for a different day.
Whirlwind of emotions
This last week has been interesting. Thank God I am alive and getting stronger every day! The ups and downs of recovery are fascinating. It is awesome to be able to ply my trade. It is totally worth avoiding the mind numbing medications to be able to focus. When I relax the stupid pain hammers me. That is irritating.
I have been able to work in the garden which brings me great joy. I am faced with the reality that I can not lift and move things like I could last year. My mind imagines knocking out a few hours of work and my body conks out an hour into the job with out a lot accomplished. It disappoints me to fall short of my goals. I realize those objectives are set only by me and being upset is counter productive. It is like I aged twenty years in six months. The problem is that I am not twenty years wiser.
Trying to establish the new “normal” is a process. Pushing the limits is natural. It is OK to get pissed if it improves performance and you do not punish other people because of your shortcomings. Remember to savor the moment. I am incredibly blessed.
I have been able to work in the garden which brings me great joy. I am faced with the reality that I can not lift and move things like I could last year. My mind imagines knocking out a few hours of work and my body conks out an hour into the job with out a lot accomplished. It disappoints me to fall short of my goals. I realize those objectives are set only by me and being upset is counter productive. It is like I aged twenty years in six months. The problem is that I am not twenty years wiser.
Trying to establish the new “normal” is a process. Pushing the limits is natural. It is OK to get pissed if it improves performance and you do not punish other people because of your shortcomings. Remember to savor the moment. I am incredibly blessed.
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