This last week has been interesting. Thank God I am alive and getting stronger every day! The ups and downs of recovery are fascinating. It is awesome to be able to ply my trade. It is totally worth avoiding the mind numbing medications to be able to focus. When I relax the stupid pain hammers me. That is irritating.
I have been able to work in the garden which brings me great joy. I am faced with the reality that I can not lift and move things like I could last year. My mind imagines knocking out a few hours of work and my body conks out an hour into the job with out a lot accomplished. It disappoints me to fall short of my goals. I realize those objectives are set only by me and being upset is counter productive. It is like I aged twenty years in six months. The problem is that I am not twenty years wiser.
Trying to establish the new “normal” is a process. Pushing the limits is natural. It is OK to get pissed if it improves performance and you do not punish other people because of your shortcomings. Remember to savor the moment. I am incredibly blessed.
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