Raising Honorable Children

 

Raising Honorable Children

There are no overnight fixes or simple solutions to raising honorable children. As a parent one can do everything correctly and still fail since humans make their own choices. Now that I let you off the hook let us be brutally honest. Leadership is by example and your example is likely the route your children will follow. Hypocrisy breeds contempt and “do as I say, not as I do” fosters more rebellion than normal. Knowing that teen rebellion is a hallowed tradition in our society may help prepare you to better deal with the trauma/drama. Defining what traits are honorable is essential prior to discussing how to foster those attributes. The fear of God, treating other beings with respect, and becoming a productive member of society are three worthy hallmarks of honorable people. Let us explore these concepts.

The fear of God is core to proper behavior. That is not to say that atheists can not display proper behavior. The concept of eternal consequences for our deeds, thoughts and actions will tend to guide us. Greater than just “will I get caught?” is the concept that my intentions have ramifications. To believe that God created the universe and cares how we treat it holds more weight than practical considerations like “if I pollute my watershed it will kill me.” Understanding the universe is a complicated concept and acknowledging that pain, suffering and death are part of the process causes much personal confusion. I must eat to survive, my life is tied to the death of other living things, even plants. Critters like mosquitoes, wolves and ants have a purpose and thus a right to exist. The survival instinct is within created beings. Indiscriminate killing is not an approved method of living as I understand my place in the universe. However eating the flesh of animals is within my moral compass. I should however, honor the creatures I raise with a comfortable and, if able, a happy life prior to their consumption. If I harvest creatures from the wild I should only take that which is necessary, consume it gratefully, not be wasteful and consider the management of the ecosystem. This is only one facet of how the fear of God can affect us.

Treating others with respect is best modeled rather than preached. The way we treat people is how our children will treat people. This can be tough since speaking ill of others is so tempting. Society tends to divide us by color, class, wealth and any other method available. Divide and conquer is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Respecting people does not mean tolerating negative behavior. Treating a threatening individual with respect means acknowledging their right and desire to exist even if one has to act on the behavior. Words are not violence. Them's fighting words has it's place in the universe but not often. Fear, weakness and capitulation are not the hallmarks of respect. One must not tolerate the brute nor fold in the face of adversity. It is a challenge to a civilized human to treat savage behavior in an appropriate manner. How you treat people of lower status, especially when there is no advantage or witnesses is a true indication.

This is one of the keys to being a productive member of society. Protecting the weak. Feeding the hungry. Lifting the downtrodden without enabling negative destructive behavior. Productivity can be measured by your impact on your community. Little things like picking up litter matter. Self sufficiency is a start. Once your personal needs are met building your community is the next step. Honoring your ancestors is part of the process. Since they were humans they have honorable traits and probably some brutal legacies. Pick up the honorable ones and try not to contribute to the brutality. Since the title infers children building a strong family is the core of society. That begins with your immediate family. Not all people have all elements of family. If you have a partner that is the most important human relationship you have. Many people prioritize the children over their partner which I believe is a mistake. The love and respect demonstrated by the parents forms the basis for a solid framework that children will model. We are human and conflict is natural. Learning how to deal with disagreements is tough. Demonstrate forgiveness and humility. Much easier said than done.

In short, modeling honorable behavior is how to raise honorable children.